Breathe: A Guy’s Guide to Pregnancy

Breathe: A Guy’s Guide to Pregnancy

Filed under Safe Pregnancy Guide

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Finally, a book for guys that solves the riddles of pregnancy. Do you think that newborn babies can eat Doritos? That they can’t scream very loudly since they just have tiny little baby lungs? That you will still be able to golf on weekends after your baby is born? If so, you need this book! Breathe takes guys misstep-by-misstep through the stages of pregnancy and the early days of childhood. Considered by many to be the unofficial pregnancy handbook of the NBA, Breathe is filled with useful tips such as these: Brown’s First Law of Conception: The odds of conception are inversely proportional to its desirability. High school virgins experimenting behind bleachers are guaranteed to get pregnant; financially secure married men hoping for children are doomed to spend their weekends in fertility clinics masturbating into cups. Picking a doctor: Never use a gynecologist whose Medical School Diploma has palm trees on the side. Pre-Natal Music: Mozart, yes. Wagner, No! Common Concerns:

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